Poems of the Week

LEARNING YOUR A B C

A is for able
I can , I will, I must
Whizz! past my opponent
You'll not see him for dust

B is for ballet
The dying swan lies in a heap
You turn to say how very sad
To find your hubby fast asleep

C is for calculate
Counting all them sheep
Daddy thinks five thousand
Then I'll fall asleep

D is for deck-chair
For those with bodies leaner
But if you are top heavy
It becomes a concertina

E is for ending
A boring conversation
Thinking up excuses
Or maybe strangulation

F is for finding
Your glasses when they'd gone
But they were never missing
You had always had them on

G is for gadget
They really are a must
For cluttering up the cupboards
Gathering the dust

H is for healthy
With exercise and diet
Stretching on the sofa
Scoffing biscuits on the quiet

I is for introduction
Hello! my name is Jane
Oh! yes of course I've heard of you
It's true you are quite plain

J is for jockey
He jockey's for to win
I use the racing paper
And sticking with a pin

K is for kilt
A Scotsman's tartan skirt
If you ask what's under-neath
He'll think you are pervert

L is for label
You've read it far too late
The food is on the table
Past it's sell-by date

M is for mailing
A letter to a friend
Arriving in Mongolia
Only sent it to South-end

N is for nearly
Are we nearly there
Kids in the back seat
Pulling each other's hair

O is for operation
His nerves he could not quell
The surgeon said! don't worry young man
It's my first time as well

P is for pretty
I can boast of that
My friend say's pretty ugly
Well! the bitchy cat

Q is for quick
Be quick and brush your teeth
Not just on the top
But the brown ones under-neath

R is for reading
An interesting book
Burnt meat is in the oven
Ooops! forgot to look

S is for slippers
To wear on dainty feet
Cinderella's sister's
Theirs were plates of meat

T is for tacit
Silence, not a word
Found out about your secret
From a little bird

U is for usher
To guide you to your seat
He glided over the marble floor
And landed at my feet

V is for vanity
Do I look alright?
Perfect in the dark my dear
Not sure though in day- light

W is for willing
To share the house-hold chores
He will put the kettle on
While I wash all the floors

X is for Xmas
Traipsing round the stores
The first one on my present list
Is always Santa Claus

Y is for yours
These kids belong to you
Not when being horrible
Preferred them when brand new

Z is for Zoom
When the camera lens zooms in
Finding you under the table
Knocking back the gin.

The computer mouse

Where are you going to little miss mouse
Why leave your job at my computer house?
Oh! I’m starting work at this posh new hotel
The hours are good, and the food is as well


I was just at your mercy, you worked me flat out
Whenever you wanted to whizz me about
The food was atrocious, just crumbs from your plate
And always the same bread and cheese that I hate



I just can,t believe I did not smell a rat !
That hotel did not tell me that they had a cat !
Please Mr boss it was only a fad
Can I come back to my own little pad ?.

Give that mouse another tweak If you want to read some more next week