Guest Poems

"I've Fallen in Love with a Jerk"

I thought it would never happen,
That these feelings would eventually lurk.
I have become the most smitten hypocrite:
I’ve fallen in love with a jerk.

He seemed nice when I first noticed him.
He was my height despite his clunky shoes,
Perfect haircut, dazzling smile,
And a wardrobe directly from J. Crew.

I decided to take a risk,
And attempt to introduce myself.
But when his judgmental eye was initiated,
I endured the most excruciating stab ever felt.

His audacity to be vulgar and rude
Makes me pray he will one day get hurt.
Despite using his air-headed posse to look cool,
…A part of me just adores this jerk.

He belongs to a metaphorical country club,
One denying my membership and existence.
The club performs heinous actions,
But my heart meets little resistance.

I tried to have a conversation with him,
But he told me to go away.
Yet despite my curses and utter embarrassment,
My love for the jerk returned the next day.

The moment before he gives me a conniving look,
There is a possibility he may sincerely grin.
And therefore I might love that jerk,
And he may love me for a second.

Nonetheless, he makes the crude comment.
And I want to grab him and say…
No! I want to kiss him and… No! .
Kiss him tomorrow; I want to slap him today.

I want to tell him, “You stupid jerk! But
As much as you form tears in my eyes,
As much as I hate you constantly,
As much as I wish for your demise…

I cannot believe I feel this way,
But I am completely in love with you!”
However, I say nothing and decide
That I should stop being a jerk, too.
Becky Feldman

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